Maple Cinnamon Cheerios Hearty Nut Medley

Name: Maple Cinnamon Cheerios Hearty Nut Medley
Variation: Cheerios
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: That's a mouthful of a name, isn't it? I spotted this cereal at the end of last year. I generally steer clear of the overly healthy-sounding cereals, but something convinced me to give this one a try. Maybe it was the "maple cinnamon". Anyway, I had to draw the line at Cheerios Veggie Blends, advertised side-by-side with this cereal. Veggies in my cereal? Hard pass.

Available in Blueberry Banana and Apple Strawberry.

With the mix of loops and flakes, along with additional add-ins (almonds and, curiously, pumpkin seeds) this cereal medley superficially recalls Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch (one of my newer favorite cereals of all time), but I hesitate to make that comparison, because I don't want to get my hopes up. Upon opening the box and pouring a bowl, it smells very maple-y, and looks awfully brown. Shall we dig in?

The taste is subtle. Honestly, it's very plain. I mean, it's not as bland as Rice Krispies - it has some flavor. But it's not sweet at all. And it's a chore to chew. After a few bites, I'm already regretting going all in and not starting with a smaller bowl. What was I thinking? I can't believe they got rid of Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch, and thought this would be an acceptible substitute! I might have been better off with Veggie Blends, after all. At least they sound fruity.

Except a single thing to warrant recommending it.

I feel like this is the kind of cereal they show in commercials next to a plate of bacon and eggs, when they say "part of a complete breakfast". You know, the kind of cereal nobody in the real world ever actually eats. If this is what it takes to keep your heart healthy, then it's no wonder our country is in a state of health emergency right now. At least you have me to suffer through these bad cereals so you don't have to. I just wish I had a box of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs so I could pour a bowl and wash my mouth out with it...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Tastes like maple, cinnamon, and nuts. Yay.