Birthday Cake Cheerios

Name: Birthday Cake Cheerios
Variation: Cheerios
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: I almost missed this cereal, because I had it confused with Confetti Cheerios. How many different "celebration" varieties of Cheerios do we need in one year? Even then, it was with with some reluctance that I grabbed it - you should know my feelings on the "birthday cake" trend by now. Still, I've tried other birthday cake cereals (including Cap'n Crunch and Fruity Pebbles), so why not Cheerios? Besides, the dark blue box with the fireworks design (reminiscent of Trix Fireworks, or was it Trix Firecracker?) is a perfect companion to our nation's birthday, which is celebrating its 250th anniversary this year. (Although I've never been less proud to be an American; but I'm not going to get political in this breakfast cereal review :-p).

Anyway, the cereal smells kind of cardboard-y right out of the box. It looks like regular Cheerios, but with tiny red and blue sprinkles. Honestly, it could have a more impressive visual appearance - like Team Cheerios, which was released in conjunction with the Olympics two years back. That cereal was good; they should have just brought that one back. This cereal has only the faintest hint of a birthday cake flavor. It mostly just tastes of oats, and a little bit of frosting. It's pretty bland. But, in that way, it's a perfect metaphor for this year's Independence Day celebrations - what should have been an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime event... has turned out to be a huge disappointment.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: A disappointing finish to what started out as a bold experiment.

Froot Loops Wild-Berry

Name: Froot Loops Wild-Berry
Variation: Froot Loops
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Do you remember Froot Loops Tropical, from a few years back? I was surprised I didn't like it. Well, now there's a new fruity variation on a cereal that is normally citrus-flavored. I don't know why they chose to hyphenate the term "wild-berry"; I'm just surprised this is the first I've ever heard of a wild berry version of Froot Loops!

The cereal smells very fruity right out of the box. The color is kind of subdued - these red, orange, and purple loops give me the impression of a V8 smoothie. But they have a light, crunchy bite, and a good berry flavor that can't be denied. Try it with fresh strawberries and blueberries for a delightful treat!

I like how experimental Kellogg's has been with Froot Loops of late. I feel like this cereal rectifies the travesty that was Froot Loops Wonka (which should have been Cocoa Loops in the first place). I don't think I'd pick it over regular Froot Loops, but I would consider it a worthy alternative to join the brand. Alas; this "limited edition" probably won't last long...

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Actually berry-flavored!

Cotton Candy Lucky Charms

Name: Cotton Candy Lucky Charms
Variation: Lucky Charms
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Every new year, the cereal manufacturers release a bunch of new flavors all at once. It's usually the biggest cereal haul of the year. This year, it took me until Easter to review them all. Then I had a short break; but it wasn't long before the summer flavors hit the shelves. I had just finished a box of Lucky Charms with JUMBO Rainbows over the break, so I wasn't too keen on getting another one - just with JUMBO Unicorns this time - so soon. But then I saw this cereal. How could I pass it up?

Cotton candy is a pretty creative flavor for cereal. (Although what is the flavor of cotton candy, besides just "sugar"?). I love the concept and presentation of this cereal, which is a good thematic match for this brand. And I like that they incorporated unicorns into the theme - with three new marshmallows! (Although they just recolored their manes).

Upon opening the box, you get an unmistakable whiff of cotton candy. But the appearance of this cereal leaves something to be desired. Traditionally, cotton candy comes in pink and blue (which are the colors that most remind me of Pride - being that it's June - since I lean more toward the trans end of the rainbow). How delightful would that have been? But instead we get a speckled purple that's so dark, it almost looks brown.

How does it taste? It's not quite like biting into a puff of cotton candy. The flavor is subtler than I would have imagined (I guess you could say it's light and ephemeral, like cotton candy itself); after the first bite, you mostly just taste the oats. Granted, I like Lucky Charms even plain, and the whole vibe of this cereal makes me happy. But since I'm not blown away by the cotton candy flavor, I'm only going to rate it two bowls and not three.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Deep purple, but otherwise kinda plain.

Toy Story 5

Name: Toy Story 5
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I was a kid when the first Toy Story movie came out (over thirty years ago...), but I haven't really followed the franchise since then. But judging from the cereal tie-in, there's a fifth one coming out this year. I saw a trailer for it in the theater recently, and the premise resonated with me: on the dangers of tech devices, which prioritize screen time over real world interactions and exercising imagination. I must be getting old, if I'm complaining about modern technology ruining kids' brains. Although there are real issues involved here.

But this is a cereal blog, so what about the cereal? I'm concerned that it will be another one of Kellogg's opportunistic marketing blunders, like the endless remixes of their terrible berry stars cereal. These pale, "vanilla-flavored loops" couldn't look blander. They're white as a ghost, with the merest hint of sprinkles. If these were cupcakes, what a paltry celebration they would inspire. This cereal is in desperate need of some marshmallows. I don't hate it, but I'm struggling to find a reason to enjoy it. I certainly won't be buying it again, not even to "grab all four boxes" (who is Kellogg's kidding?). I think I got lucky and got the best one on my first try (with apologies to both Woody and Buzz), featuring Jessie the cowgirl rag doll.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Vanilla-flavored.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Root Beer Float

Name: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Root Beer Float
Variation: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Here's a novel flavor for the summer - and coming on the heels of Mystery Crunch, which I suspect was cream soda-flavored. What's next, Fruity Pebbles Orange Soda? Although I'd prefer grape soda. I used to drink root beer when I was a kid, but that's not really a habit that followed me into adulthood. I like the fireworks design on the box - it's festive, without being too patriotic (sadly, on the 250th anniversary of the United States' founding, there's very little about this country to be proud of). Eaten dry, this cereal has that unmistakable root beer flavor. I'm not sure how much of a "float" sensation there is, beyond simply adding cold milk. But the flavor is kind of subdued in milk, and the cereal isn't as sweet or cinnamon-y as Cinnamon Toast Crunch usually is. Honestly, I'm not crazy about it. I'd sooner pick up another box of Mystery Crunch, and I never liked cream soda half as much as root beer - so that's saying something.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: More of a root beer float than the cereal itself.

Squishmallows Spring Vibes

Name: Squishmallows Spring Vibes
Variation: Squishmallows
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Aside from the hot pink box, I'm struggling to determine what makes this "Spring Vibes" version any different from last year's Squishmallows cereal, so this review might sound repetitive. It does give off spring vibes (although it did that last year, too) - with its pale, yellow loops and pretty pink, blue, and purple marshmallows. Although the sheer variety of Squishmallows depicted on the box is sorely represented by these marshmallows. But that's to be expected - cereal marbits are far from the best medium for artistic expression. Their aesthetic value (setting aside the pivotal role they have in enhancing the flavor profile of a cereal) rarely extends beyond providing a pleasing pop of color. This is a perfectly pleasant marshmallow-flavored cereal, but I'm wondering if the market is saturated between this and Peeps cereal (also manufactured by Kellogg's)...

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Like a mini marshmallow milkshake.

Blue Raspberry Trix

Name: Blue Raspberry Trix
Variation: Trix
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Not to be outdone by everyone's favorite leprechaun cereal mascot, the Trix Rabbit is starring in its own promotion for the new Super Mario Galaxy movie! Although one would imagine that the Rabbit shares Luigi's penchant for jumping, I think Lucky (in his green get-up) makes for a better pairing with Mario, at least visually. Moving on to the cereal, what is blue raspberry anyway? Well, it has a strong fruity aroma, and an almost juicy flavor. The cereal is not as colorful as usual, but I get a better impression of galaxies from these blue and purple swirled puffs than I did from Strawberry Lucky Charms' "galactic" marshmallows. Throw in some of those yellow stars, and between these two cereals they might have earned a three-bowl rating!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Nothing to write home about.