Cocoa Loops Wonka

Name: Cocoa Loops Wonka
Variation: Froot Loops
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: The rollout on General Mills' Wonka-themed Froot Loops cereals - in conjunction with the late 2023 release of Wonka, a movie centered on the eccentric confectioner at the heart of the story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - has been an unmitigated train wreck. Initially sporting a ridiculously unwieldy name, they decided to make the cereal wild berry-flavored (because, I dunno, Willy Wonka wears purple?), instead of the obvious choice to honor the proprietor of a chocolate factory. Perhaps they were waiting for the debut of Cocoa Loops, which appeared early this year? Well, now we get Cocoa Loops Wonka, which finally rights the ship. And not only is it chocolate, it's got marshmallows!

But how is it? It doesn't taste as chocolatey as it smells (despite what Kellogg's wonky math inadvertently taught us regarding the surface area of loops versus puffs). The loops are kind of big and hard to chew, as compared to, say, Cocoa Puffs. This cereal should have been a slam dunk; it's good - it's just not great. Which puts me in an awkward position, given that the base, Froot Loops - being one of my favorites from childhood - already starts with a three bowl rating. Turning it chocolate, and then adding marshmallows, are two upgrades I would be inclined to applaud on principle. But does every chocolate cereal with marshmallows deserve a three bowl rating?

With Froot Loops, Kellogg's (which I generally regard as the second-rate competitor to General Mills) has made the better fruity cereal (I'm lukewarm about Trix). But there are better "chocolate with marshmallow" cereals out there. Pretty much every one I've tried, I think - Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms (in multiple iterations), Count Chocula, Elf on the Shelf (and its competitor, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer), Cocoa Pebbles, even Kellogg's own Frosted Flakes! (Not to mention the GOAT, may she rest in peace). In light of that fact, and despite rating Cocoa Loops three bowls without having marshmallows (don't think about it too hard), I'm docking this cereal one bowl to give it a two bowl rating.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Barely flavored, as is characteristic of Kellogg's cereals.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Secret Saja Boys Flavor

Name: KPop Demon Hunters Cinnamon Toast Crunch Secret Saja Boys Flavor
Variation: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Not to be outdone by rival KPop group Huntrix (who moonlight as demon hunters) and their peach mango takeover of Lucky Charms, the Saja Boys have hijacked Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And, like the Saja Boys themselves, this cereal is hiding a secret - it has a mystery flavor! Now, notwithstanding all of the unique flavors I've encountered in my years of eating novelty cereals, I'm not as confident at guessing mystery flavors as you might think. I may have been in the ballpark on Mystery Crunch (the word on the street is that the flavor is cherry vanilla; I guessed cream soda), but at least they gave us clues. Even if some of them were red herrings.

If this cereal is modeled after a Korean delicacy, I'll be up the creek without even a boat. Here are my impressions. The cinnamon flavor seems subdued, allowing the buttery taste to stand out. And there's definitely something else there, but I can't figure out what it is. Licorice? Peppermint? I asked my wife to try it and she offered this guess: lemon meringue. Could be, I guess. I'd counter with Key lime, but I've never actually had Key lime pie, so I don't know what it tastes like. I'm at a loss. The cereal is not at all unpleasant to eat, but I find myself comparing it unfavorably to regular Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Which is to say, the fun of the mystery aside, I probably wouldn't buy it again.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: As mysterious as the cereal itself.

Lucky Charms Huntrix (Peach Mango)

Name: KPop Demon Hunters Lucky Charms Huntrix Peach Mango
Variation: Lucky Charms
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: KPop Demon Hunters are everywhere these days - even in your breakfast cereal! The Saja Boys have taken over Cinnamon Toast Crunch (stay tuned for that), and Huntrix has transformed Lucky Charms into an intriguing peach mango treat. It's got to be one of the more creative flavors of Lucky Charms I've tried.

I feel like the marshmallows are either faded, or they picked out the contrasting colors, because it contributes to a somewhat paler, almost pastel visual presentation, that matches the pinkish purple box. There's an unmistakable hint of peach mango flavor, but after a bite or two, it tends to get lost in the oats - which is the same problem I had with Cotton Candy Lucky Charms. The flavor is there, it's just not vivid enough.

I like these new flavors Lucky Charms has been coming up with (and the KPop Demon Hunters branding is a lot of fun) - they're a lot more creative than just adding a new marshmallow we'll never see again. But I've yet to find one that I absolutely love.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Marshmallow, with only a suggestion of peach mango.

Tropical Trix

Name: Tropical Trix
Variation: Trix
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: In conjunction with Disney's new live action adaptation of Moana, comes this new tropical version of Trix! One can't help thinking of that time that Froot Loops did a tropical version of their cereal; I only wish I'd liked it better. This isn't the first time we've seen a Moana cereal - about 10 years ago, when the original movie came out, Kellogg's had a whole line of Disney cereals out on the shelves. But I wasn't fully into my cereal obsession phase yet, and I only had eyes for Ariel (part of the Disney Princesses lineup) - another animated icon that has since gotten the live action treatment.

Also missed: Frozen, Finding Dory, and Despicable Me.

But, let's get back to the cereal at hand. I'm not super well-versed on my tropical fruits, so I'm having trouble identifying the flavor(s) at play here. The smell seems to suggest some sort of mixed drink. The colors look a little faded, but definitely favor the warm end of the spectrum, with a lot of oranges and yellows. It doesn't knock you over the head with its fruity flavor; I still predominantly taste corn. There's a hint of something acidic, maybe pineapple. It's not terribly refreshing, and it doesn't make me feel like I'm lounging on a tropical beach. I think I'll just stick to my Welch's Island Fruits fruit snacks, after all.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: A lingering hint of whatever flavor this cereal is.

Toy Story 5

Name: Toy Story 5
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I was a kid when the first Toy Story movie came out (over thirty years ago...), but I haven't really followed the franchise since then. But judging from the cereal tie-in, there's a fifth one coming out this year. I saw a trailer for it in the theater recently, and the premise resonated with me: on the dangers of tech devices, which prioritize screen time over real world interactions and exercising imagination. I must be getting old, if I'm complaining about modern technology ruining kids' brains. Although there are real issues involved here.

But this is a cereal blog, so what about the cereal? I'm concerned that it will be another one of Kellogg's opportunistic marketing blunders, like the endless remixes of their terrible berry stars cereal. These pale, "vanilla-flavored loops" couldn't look blander. They're white as a ghost, with the merest hint of sprinkles. If these were cupcakes, what a paltry celebration they would inspire. This cereal is in desperate need of some marshmallows. I don't hate it, but I'm struggling to find a reason to enjoy it. I certainly won't be buying it again, not even to "grab all four boxes" (who is Kellogg's kidding?). I think I got lucky and got the best one on my first try (with apologies to both Woody and Buzz), featuring Jessie the cowgirl rag doll.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Vanilla-flavored.

Squishmallows Spring Vibes

Name: Squishmallows Spring Vibes
Variation: Squishmallows
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Aside from the hot pink box, I'm struggling to determine what makes this "Spring Vibes" version any different from last year's Squishmallows cereal, so this review might sound repetitive. It does give off spring vibes (although it did that last year, too) - with its pale, yellow loops and pretty pink, blue, and purple marshmallows. Although the sheer variety of Squishmallows depicted on the box is sorely represented by these marshmallows. But that's to be expected - cereal marbits are far from the best medium for artistic expression. Their aesthetic value (setting aside the pivotal role they have in enhancing the flavor profile of a cereal) rarely extends beyond providing a pleasing pop of color. This is a perfectly pleasant marshmallow-flavored cereal, but I'm wondering if the market is saturated between this and Peeps cereal (also manufactured by Kellogg's)...

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Like a mini marshmallow milkshake.

Blue Raspberry Trix

Name: Blue Raspberry Trix
Variation: Trix
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Not to be outdone by everyone's favorite leprechaun cereal mascot, the Trix Rabbit is starring in its own promotion for the new Super Mario Galaxy movie! Although one would imagine that the Rabbit shares Luigi's penchant for jumping, I think Lucky (in his green get-up) makes for a better pairing with Mario, at least visually. Moving on to the cereal, what is blue raspberry anyway? Well, it has a strong fruity aroma, and an almost juicy flavor. The cereal is not as colorful as usual, but I get a better impression of galaxies from these blue and purple swirled puffs than I did from Strawberry Lucky Charms' "galactic" marshmallows. Throw in some of those yellow stars, and between these two cereals they might have earned a three-bowl rating!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Nothing to write home about.

Strawberry Lucky Charms

Name: Strawberry Lucky Charms
Variation: Lucky Charms
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: I had just missed Fruity Lucky Charms around the time that I started this blog, but this tie-in with the new Super Mario Galaxy movie reminds me of that cereal. I like how putting Mario on the front of the box opposite Lucky emphasizes how much Lucky's green outfit makes him look like Luigi.

The oat pieces are coated in a pretty pink layer of strawberry flavoring - which would have made them the perfect base for my Pixie Charms fantasy cereal. However, the "galactic marshmallows" just look like swirled blue, red, and green lemons. Apparently, General Mills didn't learn with their Galactic Lucky Charms that as cool a concept as space is, you really can't effectively represent something as nebulous as a "galaxy" in the form of a dehydrated marshmallow bit.

The small yellow stars, on the other hand, look great. (As cool as the unicorns and rainbows are, it's a testament to the importance of simplicity when it comes to marshmallow design). There are stars of all different colors drawn on the side of the box - I think the cereal would have looked better if they had ditched all the other marshmallows and just focused on the stars. Anyway, it's a lot better than the last Super Mario cereal I tried - you can't go wrong with Lucky Charms - and even better still with fresh strawberries cut up into it!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Purple like an overcast sky - every stargazer's worst nightmare.

The Spongebob Movie

Name: The SpongeBob Movie: Search For SquarePants
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: SpongeBob debuted at a time in my life when I was graduating to more mature animated fare, so I never really got into it. (However, I did recently make Krabby Patty cupcakes for a kid's birthday party). But there's apparently a new movie out, because here's the associated cereal tie-in. As if you couldn't tell. Gotta say, I hate the name of this cereal. I know it's just a glorified commercial for the movie, but it pays no respect to the medium. Do I really have to call this cereal "The SpongeBob Movie"? At least Froot Loops Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory had a recognizable cereal in its name! It tells me they're not even pretending to create a decent product, they're just banking on parents (and obsessed fans) wasting their money on name recognition. I know this is how capitalism works, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Krabby Patty cupcakes

It doesn't bode well that this cereal doesn't have any flavor beyond "corn". There aren't even any marshmallows! Wouldn't it be great if it had some little pink Patrick marshmallows? Every time I start to pour a bowl, I look at it and find myself wishing it was Peanut Butter Crunch. The one thing I'll say for it is that it has an interesting mouthfeel. The puffs are dense, and soften up considerably in milk. It almost gives me the impression that I'm eating SpongeBob, cut up into little pieces. There is just a hint of sweetness, which is more than I can say for last years' dreadful Bluey cereal. It's marginally better than I expected it to be, but I still won't say that I like it. At the very least, I should be able to get through the box without having to give it away.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: A little sweet and corny.

The Grinch

Name: The Grinch Dr. Seuss
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: For some reason, The Grinch is super popular this year. I don't know what it is, but I'll take any excuse to try a new cereal. Though it's vanilla, so I don't know how well I'll like it. But at least it has marshmallows! They're cute, too - little pink hearts. It all comes in a pretty green box that is very Christmas-y. Incidentally, I was just listening to a new Christmas song by rock band The Pretty Reckless, featuring Taylor Momsen who played Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch movie (25 years ago!).

I like the green puffs - they're very Grinchy. But the flavor is kind of off-putting. I taste more corn than vanilla. Looking at the nutrition facts, the sugar content is expectedly on the low side. Usually, General Mills nails their tie-ins; this tastes more like a Kellogg's promotional cereal. Did somebody turn the breakfast table upside-down? Or has the Grinch stolen all the flavor? I mean, it wouldn't be uncharacteristic of him. But of cereals based on characters likely to prank the public, I much prefer Wednesday's cereal from last year.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Corn milk. Yum.

Demogorgon Crunch

Name: Demogorgon Crunch
Variation: Eggo Homestyle?
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: With the arrival of the final season of Stranger Things imminent, I'd been thinking how surprising it is that I've never seen a Stranger Things cereal before. Lo and behold, in the eleventh hour, out of my imagination and onto store shelves comes... Demogorgon Crunch! (I would have called it Stranger Rings). Notwithstanding my excitement, I'm a little hesitant because it's maple-flavored - on account of Eleven's obsession with Eggo waffles, I presume. Not that I don't like waffles, but maple isn't one of my favorite flavors. (Even when it comes to waffles, peanut butter is my preferred add-on - thanks, Waffle House). But, it's got marshmallows!

So, the cereal pieces actually look like waffles, and are very reminiscent of Kellogg's former Eggo Homestyle cereal (even more so than that other maple-with-marshmallows cereal, Elf). They're big, and have a good crunch. The "upside down" marshmallows (as if a marshmallow could have any sense of direction tumbling out of a cereal box) are two-toned, and resemble flashlights, demogorgon faces, and d20 dice. The box has a retro, Saturday morning cartoon vibe to it - which is appropriate for an '80s nostalgia show - with an eclectic tableau printed on the back of the box, tied to a lost-and-found game that'll test your knowledge of Stranger Things trivia. I think that, without the marshmallows, I would get bored of the waffles pretty quick, but all together, I found myself barrelling toward the finish, and still anticipating the next bowl.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Subtly sweet and syrupy.

Wicked (Elphaba Caramel Apple)

Name: Wicked (Elphaba Caramel Apple)
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: It's time to try Elphaba's caramel apple cereal! Can I just say, I think caramel apple is a great flavor for fall. I'm surprised there isn't a dependable standard that appears on the shelves every year. You can't even have Caramel Apple Toast Crunch without getting Apple Pie Toast Crunch and Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch (assuming you can find them both), and mixing them together. Apple Jacks tried a Caramel variety once upon a time, but I barely had a chance to taste it. I thought Monster Cereals' new addition Carmella Creeper was here to stay, but I haven't seen hide nor hair of her this year.

On to the cereal at hand. These puffs are a sickly green color, but it contributes to the "Wicked Witch" aesthetic - similar to Snow White's poisoned apple, but that's a different story. The texture and corn flavor is comparable to that of Glinda Good Berry, but with caramel in place of strawberry. It does remind me of eating Carmella Creeper without the marshmallows. But how come these "caramel apple" cereals always taste predominantly of caramel, but not really apple? Apple is a good flavor! TMNT Mutant Mayhem was just cinnamon apple - no caramel - and it was pretty good. Very sweet and fruity, like applesauce. Come to think of it, this cereal reminds me more of caramel corn.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Imagine somebody dropped a single Werther's Original into your milk.

I mentioned that pink and green were my favorite colors, didn't I? Well, I also like putting them together, so I couldn't resist mixing Glinda and Elphaba in the same bowl. And you know what? It's actually quite good. The Good Berry adds some needed fruitiness that was lacking from the Caramel Apple. Perhaps they should have mixed them together from the get-go. I guess these witches really are two halves of a whole heart!

Wicked (Glinda Good Berry)

Name: Wicked (Glinda Good Berry)
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Kellogg's may have nabbed the deal to promote the new hit series Wednesday at your breakfast table, but General Mills has countered with their own promotion of the new movie Wicked, based on a stage adaptation of characters from L. Frank Baum's enormously popular Wizard of Oz story. And what better way to honor a two-part movie about two contrasting characters, than to give them each their own cereal? One features Glinda the Good Witch, and the other Elphaba, known to many as the Wicked Witch of the West. I really like their contrasting aesthetic - pink and green are my two favorite colors!

Light side meets dark side?

We'll start with the good witch Glinda. The cereal is called "Good Berry", and it's very pink (albeit a little salmon-shaded) - I'm guessing it's strawberry. It reminds me a little bit of JoJo Siwa Strawberry Bop! (minus the marshmallows). These "crispy corn puffs" are actually quite substantial - they offer a solid bite; they're not overly light and puffed with air. They do taste noticeably of corn, but it doesn't clash with the fruity flavor. It's pretty good - I don't even miss not having marshmallows very much. Disappointingly, the leftover milk is quite plain - how cool would it have been to have these two cereals turn the milk their respective colors? Ah well. It's the only complaint I really have.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Only a very mild strawberry flavor.

Wednesday (Howlin' Confetti Cake)

Name: Wednesday Howlin' Confetti Cake
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I was excited to see that they've brought back Wednesday cereal again this year (no doubt in promotion of the second season of the TV show starring Jenna Ortega) - it was a little bit kooky, but I liked it. I was even more excited to see that this year they've given Enid her own flavor - Howlin' Confetti Cake! Her bright and colorful personality makes an excellent contrast to Wednesday's dark and morbid mood.

But then I realized that these are Kellogg's cereals, and the confetti-coated loops look an awful lot like Froot Loops Wonka (I still hate that name), which was just the latest in a long line of bad cereals predicated on Kellogg's trying to force their bland "berry stars" down our throats. In this case, it sounds like it's a birthday cake flavor (instead of "berry-licious"), but it does also advertise turning the milk purple.

Upon opening the box, my immediate impression is that the colors are really bland. They're just a faded orange and yellow, with (oddly) a few token red loops. It's not even as colorful as Froot Loops. Enid would NOT be impressed. The flavor is also bland. Like, really bland. Is this just Wednesday masquerading as Enid? There's barely even a birthday cake flavor! It just tastes like corn. There's no "celebration" in this cereal - it's like they forgot to put the icing on the cake.

And the purple milk? It's not even that impressive. It's just a pale, grayish color. I get that Wednesday is the star of the show, but this cereal pales in comparison to hers. What an utter disappointment. I feel bad for Enid. Kellogg's has done her dirty. If I were choosing a cereal to represent her, I'd pick Fruity Pebbles over the one with her name and face on the box. And that's just disgraceful...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Pale and underwhelming.

Squishmallows

Name: Squishmallows
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Like a hug in a cereal bowl, Squishmallows has joined the breakfast table! This isn't the first marshmallow-flavored cereal with marshmallows that Kellogg's has slapped its name on, so comparisons to Peeps cereal are entirely appropriate. The colors are a little more subdued - pale yellow loops accented by pastel pink, blue, and purple marshmallows shaped like Cam the calico cat - but not at all unpleasant. It's like Peeps had an illicit tryst with LOL Surprise! (a General Mills cereal), and this is the offspring. Anyway, this cereal is low in fat, has an expectedly moderate but not unreasonable amount of sugar, and may be a little plain, but is sweet, with a good marshmallow flavor. I suspect that it's basically Peeps re-branded so it can be sold year-round.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Marshmallow-y.

Bluey

Name: Bluey
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: I don't know who this Bluey is, or why he's so popular all of a sudden - and adding to the mystery is the conspicuous lack of information on the box. I don't know what flavor this cereal is supposed to be. Blueberry? Maybe. Maybe not. All it says (tucked in the corner) is that it's a "lightly sweetened corn cereal" - and when they say lightly sweetened, they mean 4g of sugar per serving size (which is already 50% larger than average). That's equivalent to the tiny amount of sugar in Rice Krispies! (Or two bowls of plain Cheerios). The puffs are a little on the small side, and pour alarmingly fast. The taste and texture is reminiscent of cheese balls - but without the cheese (if you can imagine that). There's only the slightest semblance of sweetness. This cereal is so bland, you can almost taste the plain milk over it! Are you supposed to feed this to babies? There's no way I'm going to be able to finish this huge box...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Baby blue, but completely bland.

Friends - The One With The Vanilla Bean Latte

Name: Friends - The One With The Vanilla Bean Latte
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Before I even open the box, this cereal already has three strikes against it: 1) it's coffee-flavored, 2) it's vanilla (at least give me mocha!), and 3) it consists of flakes. Plus, I've always preferred Seinfeld to Friends. But I'm open-minded, so I'll give it a try. After all, everything rides on how it tastes.

It's very uniform - there are no clusters. And these whole wheat flakes look very dark. It tastes more of coffee than vanilla. It has a suprising amount of sugar (nearly as much as Honey Smacks), which contributes to its sweet flavor. It's not terrible, it just combines too many things I don't like to begin with.

As it happens, I just picked up a box of Frosted Flakes Chocolate Milkshake (a cereal with a very similar appearance) on clearance. So I'll be relieved to be able to wash the taste of vanilla coffee out of my mouth with some chocolate milkshake. Now, please, can there be a Seinfeld cereal? You could make it cinnamon babka flavored! It would be the perfect competitor to this.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Could save you a trip to Central Perk for your morning coffee.

Wednesday (Cookies and Creme)

Name: Wednesday Cookies and Creme
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I got so excited when I saw this cereal, I couldn't wait to snatch it up. Not only because Wednesday was a good show, but because I'm a little bit obsessed with Jenna Ortega right now. And even though I don't usually like cookies and cream cereals, the black & white aesthetic (well, mostly just black) is perfectly on point. Hey, at least it has marshmallows!

The cereal is super dark. Like charcoal; I'm afraid it'll stain my teeth. But it looks magnificent. The smell and taste is very strong - like concentrated cookie crumbs, a hint of Oreo cheesecake, really dark chocolate, or even black coffee. I'm not sure there's enough cream (I'm sorry, creme) to balance it out. If that's what the marshmallows are doing (they're shaped like coffins), perhaps there should be more of them. Or, they could have just called it "cookies 'n' scream" and been done with it. XD

It's turning my milk black! Rarely does eating a bowl of cereal inspire such excitement. Do I like it enough to buy it again? I'm not sure. But I really enjoy the visual presentation, and how thoroughly it commits to its premise. As an artist and not just a cereal lover, I respect that. Plus, I get to have Jenna Ortega staring back at me (unblinkingly) from the cereal box every morning for a week. So that's a bonus. :-p

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Black as midnight; black as pitch; blacker than the foulest witch.

Frosted Flakes with Jibbitz Marshmallows

Name: Frosted Flakes with Jibbitz Marshmallows
Variation: Frosted Flakes
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Kellogg's is doing a promotional tie-in with Crocs (also featured on Froot Loops w/Marshmallows, but with the regular marshmallows). I'm not crazy about Crocs - I think they're a dubious fashion statement. And for a while I passed this cereal up. But ultimately, I decided I could stand to add a box of Frosted Flakes w/Marshmallows to my breakfast lineup, since I didn't hate it when Tony was schmoozing with the Creeper Bits.

Toucan Sam is sharing the advertising duties.

The light green and orange marshmallows - while not as strongly colored as they look on the box - make for a nice, soft visual palette. As far as nutritional content goes, Frosted Flakes is actually fat free, but because they're frosted, it's not the least sugary cereal on the market (and adding marshmallows doesn't help). I think the marshmallow shapes could be more interesting, especially if they're imitating Jibbitz charms (what are they - flowers, fish, and... balls?).

What are Jibbitz charms, you ask? They're a last ditch effort to make Crocs seem cool by giving people the option to accessorize and individualize their shoes (while lining the inventor's wallet). It's this generation's fidget spinners, or Silly Bandz bracelets (remember those?). Anyway, the taste of Frosted Flakes with marshmallows has definitely grown on me. If it were plain, I wouldn't be so sure, but with the marshmallows, it's actually not bad.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Sweet, but flakey.

Crumbl Cereal (Chocolatey Chip Cookie)

Name: Crumbl Cereal (Chocolatey Chip Cookie)
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: To preface, I've had a love/hate relationship with Crumbl Cookies ever since one opened up in my town last year. I love their cookies, but I hate the way the company profits from psychologically manipulating its customer base (with rotating flavors - spelled F-O-M-O) and hijacking their health (by marketing dangerous levels of butter and sugar via hyperpalatability). And then there are the claims of child labor exploitation. Personally, I'm not concerned about that - if a kid wants to work, let them work. It's what the law allows them to do that bothers me. It's a perfect example of how unregulated capitalism feeds the obesity epidemic. My ethical conscience is stronger than my sweet tooth (and I have a powerful sweet tooth), so I stopped eating their cookies. But I guess I can make an exception for this new cereal - as fast as the novelty cereal market is (and it's faster than I ever imagined it could be), I don't expect to see new flavors weekly, or even monthly. Maybe yearly, but we'll see.

Opening the box, the cereal emits an aroma suggestive of fried dough. Visually, it's reminiscent of Cookie Crisp, but with a very pale overall impression. The box promises not just chocolate chips, but "chocolatey" chips, yet these are practically specks. The picture of the cookie on the box only emphasizes how pitiful the cereal pieces look by comparison. They're crunchy, and soften up considerably in milk, recalling the soft center of a Crumbl cookie. But the flavor is pretty lacking. Without the unhealthy amounts of butter and sugar (the nutritive value of this cereal actually isn't so bad), there's not much to enjoy. It surely isn't any competition for Chips Ahoy. I'm gonna call this product a media cash-in. People are gonna buy it because the box is pink and says "crumbl". Well, I fell for it. Now you don't have to.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Tastes like... fried dough?