Arctic Crunch

Name: Arctic Crunch (Vanilla Frost)
Variation: Cap'n Crunch
Manufacturer: Quaker Oats

Review: Continuing Quaker Oats' campaign to donate a portion of sales to Ocean Conservancy, this new variety of Cap'n Crunch would seem to be a sequel to last year's Sea Berry Crunch. I only wish last year's unfortunate recall hadn't hamstrung Sea Berry Crunch's chances at popularity (I've noticed that Cinnamon Crunch - which was also affected - appears to be poised for more longevity). I like the idea of the Cap'n sailing to the Arctic - it's entirely on-brand. But I think I've established by now my feelings on vanilla. I'm just glad the "frost" part doesn't refer to that mouth-cooling menthol effect that I've had quite enough of already.

Opening the box, you can definitely smell the vanilla. The white and blue color mix looks suitably arctic. I feel like the Crunch Berries are softer than usual - they almost melt in your mouth. The vanilla flavor is not overpowering, but I do miss the Crunch Berries' usual, fruity flavor. I really like this cereal's presentation and thematic consistency - I believe those are things that deserve recognition. But the bottom line is that this is a breakfast cereal, and a commercial product. And I don't know that I like eating it enough to buy it again, especially when there are better Crunch Berry cereals already on the market...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Cool blue vanilla.

Chocolate Strawberry LOADED

Name: Chocolate Strawberry LOADED
Variation: LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mill

Review: I was excited to see that General Mills is continuing to expand their LOADED lineup this year. Previously, the only flavor not tied to an existing brand (Cocoa Puffs, Trix, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch) was Birthday Cake LOADED. Now, I introduce to you Chocolate Strawberry LOADED - and just in time for Valentine's Day!

The great thing about this cereal is that it's the first LOADED cereal to use chocolate (creme) filling instead of vanilla. How exciting is that? The color of the cereal is vividly red, and it smells of strawberry. It could have a more vibrant flavor, but I think what sells these LOADED cereals is the satisfying mouthfeel. They soften up in milk, without tasting soggy, and are a lot of fun to eat. Kellogg's Krave might very well have a new competitor!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Vividly pink but faintly flavored.

Golden Crisp

Name: Golden Crisp
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This is one of those cereals my eyes always glance over without really noticing - until I recently snatched up a bunch of Post cereals that were on sale. And I didn't realize it until I saw them sitting side by side, but this cereal is a dead ringer for Honey Smacks!* What's shocking is that this one has even more sugar than what I previously thought was the sugariest cereal on the market - and not by a small margin, either. We're talking about a 16% increase. Yikes! *(My research indicates that Golden Crisp was the original, making Honey Smacks literally a pale imitation).

Since Honey Smacks was unexpectedly disappointing, I was worried that this cereal would also be a dud. But my initial impression is actually favorable. It has a shinier gold color, and tastes crispier. With a more inviting look, a warmer flavor, and less of a styrofoam-like texture, this is, without a doubt, the superior cereal. I just wish they could have pulled that off without using so much sugar. There are plenty of good cereals on the market that have a much more reasonable sugar content. I think this cereal has earned its two bowl rating, but I won't be eating it again anytime soon.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Honey-glazed!

Honey Smacks

Name: Honey Smacks
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I'd been avoiding this cereal because I did a survey several years back, and it was one of the sugariest cereals on the market. But now its time has come. I have to say, it's not the most visually appealing cereal - the wheat puffs have this weird, hot dog bun-like shape, with "eyelets" and flakes of skin peeling off. They're crispy, but they also have a bit of a styrofoam-like texture (what is it with honey cereals imitating styrofoam?). They do have a bit of a "snap" when added to milk, but not on the level of Rice Krispies. They're sweet, but there's not much flavor beyond "styrofoam drenched in honey". I thought I'd regret trying this cereal because it would turn out to be too good to resist, but on the contrary - I'm struggling to finish my bowl. I honestly don't see the appeal. And with this much sugar, I could be eating Mega Stuf Oreo O's!

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Sweeter than the cereal itself.