Rainbow Sprinkles Lucky Charms

Name: Rainbow Sprinkles Lucky Charms
Variation: Lucky Charms
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: With every cereal I review, I become a more seasoned critic. But it can also feel like I'm repeating myself sometimes. This is a birthday cake flavored version of Lucky Charms - and my opinion on birthday cake is well-documented. It's colorful, but it's not one of my favorite flavors. And this version of Lucky Charms isn't even that pretty (although I like the fading gradient on the front of the box). The "confetti sprinkle pieces" are not just underwhelming - they're downright disappointing! You can barely see them. With a corn rather than oat base (much like Honey Clovers), the cereal pieces resemble yellow cake. Apparently, the debut of JUMBO Rainbows drained the charm's teleportation power, because you can follow a maze on the back of this box to help Lucky recharge his rainbow charm. You won't be surprised to learn that this isn't the best version of Lucky Charms I've tried. It's prefectly edible, but I wouldn't buy it again.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Grey as a storm cloud, and tastes a bit like frosting.

Lucky Charms JUMBO Rainbows

Name: Lucky Charms Jumbo Rainbows
Variation: Lucky Charms
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: While it's as good an excuse as any to have a [Giant Size] box of Lucky Charms, I doubted whether having jumbo rainbow marshmallows was enough of a reason to give this cereal its own review. My opinion on Lucky Charms (which is one of my lifelong favorites) is well-documented, so the only thing in question is what effect, if any, these jumbo marshmallows have on my experience of eating it.

"Wherever you dream to go, it's possible with Lucky's jumbo rainbow!" Since the regular rainbow charm already gives Lucky the power to teleport, I'm interpreting the jumbo charm to give Lucky the power to teleport to places he's never been before (to boldly go...). Unless the idea is that he can teleport to fantastical places located in the realm of pure imagination? General Mills, please clarify.

Anyway, it's a pretty superficial modification - every once in a while, you'll get a bite with a larger marshmallow. It's not the best, but also not the worst novelty marshmallow I've seen in Lucky Charms. The size difference does disrupt the cereal's uniformity somewhat, so I don't expect it'll stick around (do they ever?). But it is nice to dig into the cereal and get a stronger impression of "rainbows!" than usual.

For better or worse (your mileage may vary), General Mills has managed to emphasize rainbows with this cereal, without tying it to gay pride. I support gay pride (and silence on this issue can speak volumes in this day and age); but I also recognize that, as a meteorological phenomenon, rainbows aren't intrinsically gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I believe they deserve to maintain a life outside of gay pride, too.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Blue-grey and marshmallow-y (like the sky after it rains).

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Strawberry

Name: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Strawberry
Variation: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: I was intrigued when I spotted this new flavor of Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the shelves. The toasties are noticeably pink, and have a real strawberry flavor - I'm just glad it's not strawberries and cream. It's really good. It tastes a bit like if you drizzled strawberry syrup over your French toast. Add fresh strawberries to take it to the next level!

I wanted to try mixing this cereal with Chocolate Toast Crunch, because I think that sounds like a great combination, but I can't seem to find it anymore. Dubious novelties like CinnaGraham Toast Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls (actually, those were decent), and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Waffle are all still available, but I can't find Chocolate Toast Crunch? That's concerning. It should be a staple!

Anyway, like most varieties of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, this cereal has a perfectly reasonable amount of sugar (a median value of 12g per cup - not low, but not high either). Although the fat content (4g per cup) trends toward the upper end of what's normal - which is probably why it still tastes so good.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Like a decadent, cinnamon strawberry milkshake!

Blueberry Bran Crunch

Name: Blueberry Bran Crunch
Variation: Raisin Bran
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Here's an exciting new cereal I spotted this year. It's like Raisin Bran Crunch, but with blueberries instead of raisins. Actually, it has "blueberry flavored crunchy oat clusters" (although dried blueberries are listed in the ingredients). It's actually really good. It has a good blueberry flavor. The only thing it's missing are fresh blueberries! But it does have [significantly] more sugar than Oreo Puffs - equivalent to Raisin Bran, but slightly lower than Raisin Bran Crunch. I wouldn't make a habit of eating this cereal regularly, but I do like it.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Flakey, and blueberry-flavored.

Oreo Puffs

Name: Oreo Puffs
Variation: Oreo O's
Manufacturer: Post

Review: I feel a bit foolish buying this cereal, when it's really just Mega Stuf Oreo O's, but in the form of puffs instead of loops. But I guess that's the job I signed up for with this blog. Surprisingly, it has considerably less sugar (almost 5g per cup, if my math is right) than Mega Stuff Oreo O's; proving Kellogg's error - that a sphere has less surface area (e.g., for sugary frosting) than a torus (i.e., loop or donut shape). In fact, it has less sugar even than plain Oreo O's without marshmallows! (And given that Oreos are a cream-filled sandwich cookie, I think this cereal deserves to have marshmallows).

That's good, from a health standpoint - it makes the cereal less egregiously unhealthy. You know I can't abide a cereal that doesn't even try to be sweet, but on the other hand, I think it's stupid to go to the other extreme, and max out levels of unhealthiness just... for what? To be edgy? But does the reduction in sweetness ruin this cereal? Honestly, I think it's as good as any Oreo cereal I've had so far. The chocolate cookie flavor reminds me, faintly, of Wednesday cereal - which I get the feeling wasn't very popular, but I actually liked. I daresay this ought to be considered the definitive Oreo cereal from here on out. And it avoids that awkard apostrophe that Oreo O's has!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Cookies 'n' creamy!

S'mores LOADED

Name: S'mores LOADED
Variation: LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Along with Chocolate Strawberry LOADED, this cereal joins the new additions to General Mills' LOADED lineup this year, as well as the small but distinguished company of s'mores-inspired cereals that occasionally grace the shelves. If the filling is chocolate "creme", and the biscuits are graham cracker-flavored, I don't know where they're hiding the marshmallow - but it tastes suitably s'morey. As with the rest of these cereals, each bite delivers a satisfying crunch, releasing a creamy pocket of flavor into your mouth. I'm not going to say that I prefer this to my standby s'mores cereal - Honey Maid S'mores - but I do like it. I think the LOADED line has only improved since it has branched out from hijacking existing cereal brands (and introduced chocolate over vanilla creme). But I'd still like to see a fruit-filled version to replicate the Hidden Treasures of my youth.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Mild hints of s'morey flavor.

Glazed Donut Holes - Apple Cinnamon

Name: Glazed Donut Holes - Apple Cinnamon
Variation: Glazed Donut Holes, Apple Jacks
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: Although it's probably just because Kellogg's has Apple Jacks sitting around, I really like the idea of doing an apple cinnamon version of their new Glazed Donut Holes lineup this year. You've got Glazed Original and Glazed Chocolate - which are pretty standard flavors - and then Apple Cinnamon comes in as the wild card, to mix things up. It's like having an apple fritter for breakfast! Although I'm not sure if it tastes more like apple fritter, or Apple Jacks Puffs. Regardless, it's pretty good. I would not have predicted that I would like it better than chocolate, but I think this is my favorite flavor of the Glazed Donut Holes cereals in the end.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Mildly sweetened with apple and cinnamon.