Name: Cocoa Loops Wonka
Variation: Froot Loops
Manufacturer: Kellogg's
Review: The rollout on General Mills' Wonka-themed Froot Loops cereals - in conjunction with the late 2023 release of Wonka, a movie centered on the eccentric confectioner at the heart of the story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - has been an unmitigated train wreck. Initially sporting a ridiculously unwieldy name, they decided to make the cereal wild berry-flavored (because, I dunno, Willy Wonka wears purple?), instead of the obvious choice to honor the proprietor of a chocolate factory. Perhaps they were waiting for the debut of Cocoa Loops, which appeared early this year? Well, now we get Cocoa Loops Wonka, which finally rights the ship. And not only is it chocolate, it's got marshmallows!
But how is it? It doesn't taste as chocolatey as it smells (despite what Kellogg's wonky math inadvertently taught us regarding the surface area of loops versus puffs). The loops are kind of big and hard to chew, as compared to, say, Cocoa Puffs. This cereal should have been a slam dunk; it's good - it's just not great. Which puts me in an awkward position, given that the base, Froot Loops - being one of my favorites from childhood - already starts with a three bowl rating. Turning it chocolate, and then adding marshmallows, are two upgrades I would be inclined to applaud on principle. But does every chocolate cereal with marshmallows deserve a three bowl rating?
With Froot Loops, Kellogg's (which I generally regard as the second-rate competitor to General Mills) has made the better fruity cereal (I'm lukewarm about Trix). But there are better "chocolate with marshmallow" cereals out there. Pretty much every one I've tried, I think - Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms (in multiple iterations), Count Chocula, Elf on the Shelf (and its competitor, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer), Cocoa Pebbles, even Kellogg's own Frosted Flakes! (Not to mention the GOAT, may she rest in peace). In light of that fact, and despite rating Cocoa Loops three bowls without having marshmallows (don't think about it too hard), I'm docking this cereal one bowl to give it a two bowl rating.
Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Barely flavored, as is characteristic of Kellogg's cereals.
