Crumbl Cereal (Chocolatey Chip Cookie)

Name: Crumbl Cereal (Chocolatey Chip Cookie)
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: To preface, I've had a love/hate relationship with Crumbl Cookies ever since one opened up in my town last year. I love their cookies, but I hate the way the company profits from psychologically manipulating its customer base (with rotating flavors - spelled F-O-M-O) and hijacking their health (by marketing dangerous levels of butter and sugar via hyperpalatability). And then there are the claims of child labor exploitation. Personally, I'm not concerned about that - if a kid wants to work, let them work. It's what the law allows them to do that bothers me. It's a perfect example of how unregulated capitalism feeds the obesity epidemic. My ethical conscience is stronger than my sweet tooth (and I have a powerful sweet tooth), so I stopped eating their cookies. But I guess I can make an exception for this new cereal - as fast as the novelty cereal market is (and it's faster than I ever imagined it could be), I don't expect to see new flavors weekly, or even monthly. Maybe yearly, but we'll see.

Opening the box, the cereal emits an aroma suggestive of fried dough. Visually, it's reminiscent of Cookie Crisp, but with a very pale overall impression. The box promises not just chocolate chips, but "chocolatey" chips, yet these are practically specks. The picture of the cookie on the box only emphasizes how pitiful the cereal pieces look by comparison. They're crunchy, and soften up considerably in milk, recalling the soft center of a Crumbl cookie. But the flavor is pretty lacking. Without the unhealthy amounts of butter and sugar (the nutritive value of this cereal actually isn't so bad), there's not much to enjoy. It surely isn't any competition for Chips Ahoy. I'm gonna call this product a media cash-in. People are gonna buy it because the box is pink and says "crumbl". Well, I fell for it. Now you don't have to.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Tastes like... fried dough?

Froot Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops

Name: Rainbow Sherbet Scoops
Variation: Froot Loops
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: New, and in time for pride month - it's Froot Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops! And, perfect for the heat wave we're currently experiencing, it "cools your mouth" as you eat. Honestly, I'm surprised Kellogg's is still hawking that trick. I think they should cool it already, but I spotted ICEE cereal on the shelves again this year, so I guess we're stuck with it for a while. This cereal is very similar to that one; it's just more colorful. The fruity flavor is suppressed by the "cooling" effect, which really just feels like a slight burning sensation in the roof of your mouth. I think Rainbow Sherbet cereal is a good idea in theory, but it's not my favorite flavor of ice cream, and it just makes me miss all the more the neapolitan Ice Cream Scoops cereal (I believe it was a variation of Cocoa Puffs) I've had in the not too distant past.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Cool and menthol-y...

Mega Stuf Oreo O's

Name: Mega Stuf Oreo O's
Variation: Oreo O's
Manufacturer: Post

Review: Skipping over Double Stuf and jumping straight to Mega Stuf, here's an exciting new version of Oreo O's! Can I just say, I hate the way companies intentionally misspell words in their product names. I know they do it so they can protect their trademark (you can't own regular words), but it's not cute. It looks ignorant, and it stunts children's educations. Is it really worth it to make yourself (and by extension, your consumers) look like idiots for commercial profit? The answer is obviously yes, and that disgusts me.

Anyway, this appears to be nothing more than regular Oreo O's, but with marshmallows. I guess the "stuf" fell out. But you know what I say - marshmallows make any cereal better! I feel like there were a lot of Oreo loops stuck together in my box, but that may just be a coincidence. The cereal itself is kinda plain, but the marshmallows are good. It's a definite improvement over original Oreo O's. I would just be mindful of the high sugar content, rivaling even Raisin Bran itself.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: A bit like an Oreo cookies 'n' cream milkshake.

Chips Ahoy

Name: Chips Ahoy
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This new year, I was very excited to see Chips Ahoy cereal back on the shelves, so I could give it a proper review (I can only hope the return of Nutter Butter cereal is on the horizon, too). And, I was excited to be able to compare it to Cookie Crisp (that other chocolate chip cookie cereal), to see which one comes out on top. Sadly, Cookie Crisp doesn't get many novelty variations, or even promotional tie-ins, so I haven't had an excuse to pick up a box since I started this blog - until now.

Visually, this cereal is very similar to Cookie Crisp. Only by direct comparison can I tell that the cookie saucers in Chips Ahoy are a little bit bigger, and a little bit lighter in color. They taste less sweet, but have a richer cookie flavor. Rather than crispy, I would say that they are very crunchy, although they do soften up some after soaking in milk. And though the chocolate flavor is subtle, I think I can taste it better here than in Cookie Crisp. All in all, I think this is the superior chocolate chip cookie cereal; which is appropriate, given the reputation of the Chips Ahoy brand. Can we get a Chips Ahoy Chewy next? Maybe with some cookie dough bites? Or how about Chocolate Chunk? Chunks are way better than chips.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Mildly cookie-flavored.

Cookie Crisp

Name: Cookie Crisp
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Featuring "the great taste of chocolate chip cookies & milk". I like chocolate chip cookies. I like them more than Oreos. And milk and cookies are a natural match (although I prefer cookies in ice cream). But while it's a staple, I'm surprised that this cereal isn't more popular. It seems to be the most overlooked of Big G's flagship cereals (alongside Honey Nut Cheerios, Reese's Puffs, Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, Trix, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch), and is the one that gets the least novelty variations, despite there being a lot of potential in terms of different kinds of cookies you could use. I still want my Sugar Cookie Crisp, and that's just the tip of the iceberg of what they could create - Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp, Brookie Crisp, Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp, Snickerdoodle Crisp, Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Crisp, Red Velvet Cookie Crisp, and the collaboration with Panera Bread - Kitchen Sink Cookie Crisp! The list of missed opportunities just goes on and on...

Anyway, the cereal consists of cute little saucers that resemble chocolate chip cookies - and the visual impression is quite enticing. They have a sweet, doughy taste with a hint of chocolate, and are crisp and crunchy. Even in milk, they only soften up a little bit - and that might be my only complaint. Some people like crispy cookies. I prefer it when they're soft. But it's a good cereal, with surprisingly little competition. And you can't beat the thrill of having cookies for breakfast!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: It's not strong, but you can definitely taste the chocolate chip cookie flavor.

Reese's Puffs Peanut Butter Lovers

Name: Reese's Puffs Peanut Butter Lovers
Variation: Reese's Puffs
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: I always love it when the big companies take my suggestions for new novelty cereals. I just wish they would pay me for it. Or at least give me some credit. :-p

Welcome to Peanut Butter Town!

This cereal is pretty self-explanatory - it's Reese's Puffs but with nothing but peanut butter puffs. That's right, no chocolate. Visually, it's very reminiscent of Peanut Butter Crunch, but with a softer, maybe even a little bit richer bite. Both are excellent peanut butter cereals, but I think PB Crunch might have some competition if this cereal sticks around. As you would predict, it also tastes great with fresh banana cut up into it. Even though Reese's is known for their peanut butter, and a chocolate cereal would compete with General Mills' own Cocoa Puffs, I would still love to see a Chocolate Lovers version of Reese's Puffs in the future. Imagine mixing them together! XD

Rating: 🥣🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Only mildly peanut buttery.

Cocoa Puffs/Trix/Cinnamon Toast Crunch LOADED

This Memorial Day weekend you're getting not one, not even two, but three cereal reviews! It's a threefer!

General Mills is taking a page from the Kellogg's Krave playbook this year, by stuffing three of its flagship cereals with vanilla crème. As an aside, I wish we could agree on whether to call it "cream" or "crème", because I never know whether to use the American or the French pronunciation. (Also, is it "crescent" or "croissant"? I studied French, so it's weird for me not to use the French pronunciation). A quick search of their differences would reveal that "crème" is just the French word for "cream", but the most plausible explanation I came across (no idea whether it's true), is that US law forbids non-dairy substitutes from being called "cream" - hence, "crème". It's like the difference between "cheese" and "cheese-flavored product". You know, that would make a lot of sense.

Anyway, as a chocolate lover, I don't really get excited about vanilla. I feel like it would be a good companion to Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but shouldn't Trix be loaded with a fruity filling, and Cocoa Puffs a chocolatey one? Maybe that would be too redundant, but doubling up isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, it worked for Kellogg's Krave Double Chocolate Brownie Batter. Regardless, it sounds like a fun novelty, so let's give them a try!

Name: Cocoa Puffs LOADED
Variation: Cocoa Puffs, LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: These crème-filled biscuit shapes are definitely reminiscent of Kellogg's Krave cereal. You know, it's not bad. The chocolate shell is good, and even though the filling is vanilla, it adds a smoothness or a softness to each bite. It's kind of like a chocolate cupcake with vanilla icing. Certainly not the worst combination in the world. The leftover milk has the same problem as Krave or Frosted Mini Wheats, though. I don't know what it is about biscuit-shaped cereal, but somebody needs to learn how to get some flavor into that milk.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Looks chocolatey, but the flavor's more "biscuit-y".

Name: Trix LOADED
Variation: Trix, LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Well, these colors are not very impressive. They look worn and faded, and they can't even separate the red from the blue from the purple. Trix may not be as vivid as Fruity Pebbles, but I expect it to have a bright and colorful appearance (Exhibit A: Trix Minis). This isn't just disappointing, it's depressing! It's worse than Froot Loops Color Mix-Ups. Regardless, it has a decent fruity flavor, and once again, the vanilla "crème" filling gives the impression that you're eating cupcakes with frosting. I can't say that I love it, but I do appreciate that it's the most unique version of Trix I've ever seen. I like a novelty cereal that dares to experiment.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Speckled with some color, but still biscuit-flavored...

Name: Cinnamon Toast Crunch LOADED
Variation: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: It looks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch - albeit in biscuit-form. The texture and mouthfeel is very different from the usual crunchy toasties - it's softer. But the buttery, cinnamon toast flavor is retained. And the filling is a good companion, as I suspected. I don't think I've ever spread vanilla frosting over a slice of cinnamon sugar toast, but that's basically what you're getting here. And I like it. Now, can you imagine a version of French Toast Crunch loaded with fruit filling? I don't know why General Mills hasn't recruited me yet...

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Good luck tasting the cinnamon over that biscuit flavor.

And, of course, I had to try them together. The biscuits are too big to really mix together and create an amalgamated flavor, so you get a different combination of flavors in every bite. Trix's fruity flavor definitely stands out the most. It's not unpleasant to eat, but it's an odd combination. I think I got better results mixing the Minis together.