Honey Bunches of Oats - Chocolate

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - Chocolate
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: It's a stroke of luck that I just started trying out Honey Bunches of Oats not long before a Chocolate version appeared on the shelves (it doesn't say it's "new", but I haven't seen it before). And what a perfect successor to Vanilla! Made with "real chocolate and cocoa" (my emphasis), it looks a lot like Chocolate Frosted Flakes. The oat clusters are few and far between - I could almost forget that I'm eating Honey Bunches of Oats! It's not the most decadent chocolate cereal on the market, but it does have a good chocolate flavor - it's very creamy, like chocolate milk. As a chocolate cereal, it might not be my first pick, but in the hierarchy of Honey Bunches cereals, its easily among the varieties I've liked the most (along with Frosted Bunches and Real Strawberries). I'll consider it the lineup's redemption after Maple & Pecans.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: A deep, smoke-colored chocolate milk.

Friends - The One With The Vanilla Bean Latte

Name: Friends - The One With The Vanilla Bean Latte
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: General Mills

Review: Before I even open the box, this cereal already has three strikes against it: 1) it's coffee-flavored, 2) it's vanilla (at least give me mocha!), and 3) it consists of flakes. Plus, I've always preferred Seinfeld to Friends. But I'm open-minded, so I'll give it a try. After all, everything rides on how it tastes.

It's very uniform - there are no clusters. And these whole wheat flakes look very dark. It tastes more of coffee than vanilla. It has a suprising amount of sugar (nearly as much as Honey Smacks), which contributes to its sweet flavor. It's not terrible, it just combines too many things I don't like to begin with.

As it happens, I just picked up a box of Frosted Flakes Chocolate Milkshake (a cereal with a very similar appearance) on clearance. So I'll be relieved to be able to wash the taste of vanilla coffee out of my mouth with some chocolate milkshake. Now, please, can there be a Seinfeld cereal? You could make it cinnamon babka flavored! It would be the perfect competitor to this.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Could save you a trip to Central Perk for your morning coffee.

Frosted Mini Wheats Cocoa

Name: Frosted Mini Wheats Cocoa
Variation: Frosted Mini Wheats
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I haven't had the greatest experience with Frosted Mini Wheats so far - it just isn't my cereal. But I spotted this new Cocoa flavor, advertising that it "turns milk chocolatey". That's been one of my biggest complaints about these cereals in the past - they don't give the milk any kind of flavor. So I had to try it.

Still too chewy. Still don't like the taste or texture of the shredded wheat biscuits. Although, as usual, the chocolate they've flavored them with is good - but, like lipstick on a pig, it's just not enough. Same with the milk. It's a little chocolatey, but it'll never compare to the milk after a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, or Chocolate Frosted Flakes. I don't regret trying this cereal, but I don't see myself buying it again.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: There's a hint of cocoa. I guess.

Honey Bunches of Oats - Maple & Pecans

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - Maple & Pecans
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: Of all the varieties of Honey Bunches of Oats I've seen so far, this is the one I was looking forward to trying the least. I mean, it doesn't even sound appetizing (although the box is a pretty color). Experience has borne out that I'm not super fond of maple-flavored cereals (unless they have marshmallows), and pecans - well, I could take or leave any kind of nut in my cereal. I couldn't even say if I like them better or worse than almonds. Although maple is usually associated with sugary syrup, this cereal - like the others - isn't very sweet. The flavors are subtle, and mostly it just tastes plain. I've gained an appreciation for certain flavors of Honey Bunches of Oats over the past weeks - albeit in small doses - but I can't say this is one of them.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Flaky, and maple-flavored.

Cinnamon Bunches

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - Cinnamon Bunches
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: I'm not sure "cinnamon" is going to be enough of a flavor to redeem this cereal's plainness (it wasn't enough for Cheerios Oat Crunch), but I'm going to give it a try. I can taste the cinnamon, but it's subtle. The cereal's still not sweet enough. I'd put this one on par with Honey Roasted. I can tolerate it in small doses. But I won't miss it when it's gone. So far, the only versions I'd give the time of day are Frosted Bunches, and the one with Real Strawberries. And I don't think the next flavor I'm going to try is going to change that...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Flaky, and specked with cinnamon.

Arctic Crunch

Name: Arctic Crunch (Vanilla Frost)
Variation: Cap'n Crunch
Manufacturer: Quaker Oats

Review: Continuing Quaker Oats' campaign to donate a portion of sales to Ocean Conservancy, this new variety of Cap'n Crunch would seem to be a sequel to last year's Sea Berry Crunch. I only wish last year's unfortunate recall hadn't hamstrung Sea Berry Crunch's chances at popularity (I've noticed that Cinnamon Crunch - which was also affected - appears to be poised for more longevity). I like the idea of the Cap'n sailing to the Arctic - it's entirely on-brand. But I think I've established by now my feelings on vanilla. I'm just glad the "frost" part doesn't refer to that mouth-cooling menthol effect that I've had quite enough of already.

Opening the box, you can definitely smell the vanilla. The white and blue color mix looks suitably arctic. I feel like the Crunch Berries are softer than usual - they almost melt in your mouth. The vanilla flavor is not overpowering, but I do miss the Crunch Berries' usual, fruity flavor. I really like this cereal's presentation and thematic consistency - I believe those are things that deserve recognition. But the bottom line is that this is a breakfast cereal, and a commercial product. And I don't know that I like eating it enough to buy it again, especially when there are better Crunch Berry cereals already on the market...

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Cool blue vanilla.

Chocolate Strawberry LOADED

Name: Chocolate Strawberry LOADED
Variation: LOADED
Manufacturer: General Mill

Review: I was excited to see that General Mills is continuing to expand their LOADED lineup this year. Previously, the only flavor not tied to an existing brand (Cocoa Puffs, Trix, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch) was Birthday Cake LOADED. Now, I introduce to you Chocolate Strawberry LOADED - and just in time for Valentine's Day!

The great thing about this cereal is that it's the first LOADED cereal to use chocolate (creme) filling instead of vanilla. How exciting is that? The color of the cereal is vividly red, and it smells of strawberry. It could have a more vibrant flavor, but I think what sells these LOADED cereals is the satisfying mouthfeel. They soften up in milk, without tasting soggy, and are a lot of fun to eat. Kellogg's Krave might very well have a new competitor!

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Vividly pink but faintly flavored.

Golden Crisp

Name: Golden Crisp
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This is one of those cereals my eyes always glance over without really noticing - until I recently snatched up a bunch of Post cereals that were on sale. And I didn't realize it until I saw them sitting side by side, but this cereal is a dead ringer for Honey Smacks!* What's shocking is that this one has even more sugar than what I previously thought was the sugariest cereal on the market - and not by a small margin, either. We're talking about a 16% increase. Yikes! *(My research indicates that Golden Crisp was the original, making Honey Smacks literally a pale imitation).

Since Honey Smacks was unexpectedly disappointing, I was worried that this cereal would also be a dud. But my initial impression is actually favorable. It has a shinier gold color, and tastes crispier. With a more inviting look, a warmer flavor, and less of a styrofoam-like texture, this is, without a doubt, the superior cereal. I just wish they could have pulled that off without using so much sugar. There are plenty of good cereals on the market that have a much more reasonable sugar content. I think this cereal has earned its two bowl rating, but I won't be eating it again anytime soon.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Honey-glazed!

Honey Smacks

Name: Honey Smacks
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Kellogg's

Review: I'd been avoiding this cereal because I did a survey several years back, and it was one of the sugariest cereals on the market. But now its time has come. I have to say, it's not the most visually appealing cereal - the wheat puffs have this weird, hot dog bun-like shape, with "eyelets" and flakes of skin peeling off. They're crispy, but they also have a bit of a styrofoam-like texture (what is it with honey cereals imitating styrofoam?). They do have a bit of a "snap" when added to milk, but not on the level of Rice Krispies. They're sweet, but there's not much flavor beyond "styrofoam drenched in honey". I thought I'd regret trying this cereal because it would turn out to be too good to resist, but on the contrary - I'm struggling to finish my bowl. I honestly don't see the appeal. And with this much sugar, I could be eating Mega Stuf Oreo O's!

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Sweeter than the cereal itself.

Honey Bunches of Oats - Vanilla

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - Vanilla
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: As a certified chocoholic, vanilla doesn't excite me (a fact that is borne out by my low average rating for vanilla cereals). It smells nice (and, according to the back of the box, spiders can't stand the smell, so I might just plant a bunch of vanilla in my garden, lol), but I could take or leave the taste. So it's no surprise that this version of Honey Bunches of Oats leaves me cold. The vanilla is subtle, and not unpleasant, but altogether the cereal is just plain. It doesn't have the sweetness of Frosted Bunches - which I liked. I'd rank this cereal close to the original Honey Roasted, but like the version with almonds, I'd be willing to give it away just as soon as finish it myself.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Flakey, and only subtly vanilla.

Honey Ohs!

Name: Honey Ohs!
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This cereal was a bit of a mystery to me. I'd never noticed it until recently, when I bought a bunch of Post cereals that were on sale. Based on its description and shelf placement, it seems poised to be a competitor to Honey Nut Cheerios. The box emphasizes "good things in the middle", but is conspicuously vague on what those good things actually are. Then I noticed the sugar content, which is on par with Honey Smacks! Eating them dry, you can instantly tell that they're densely glazed with flavor - unlike a lot of the honey cereals I've been eating lately. I swear, it tastes like butterscotch. I like it enough to eat it again, but I won't be in a hurry to buy another box - there are plenty of good cereals out there that don't go so hard on the sugar.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Tastes like butterscotch!

Honey Bunches of Oats - with Real Strawberries

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - with Real Strawberries
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This cereal delivers on its promise of having real (freeze-dried) strawberry slices - and honestly, I'm a little impressed. I mean, I guess I could have just added fresh strawberries myself, but it's nice to have them already in the box. And the concentration's pretty favorable - sometimes you don't get enough of the good stuff, but that's not a problem here. The strawberries add a much needed burst of flavor to this otherwise boring oat 'n' granola cereal. It's much better than the utter disappointment that was Cheerios Oat Crunch Berry. It's still not going to become one of my favorites, but, unlike the version with almonds, it's good enough to eat.

Rating: 🥣🥣
Leftover Milk: Strawberry and flaked.

Honey Bunches of Oats - with Almonds

Name: Honey Bunches of Oats - with Almonds
Variation: Honey Bunches of Oats
Manufacturer: Post

Review: As a newcomer to this cereal, I'm assuming that Honey Roasted is the "regular" variety, and the rest are variations. So this is basically regular Honey Bunches of Oats, but with the addition of almonds - which recalls Cheerios Oat Crunch Almond. It has a very nutty flavor; in fact, I don't taste the honey at all in this. And once again, it's not sweet enough to hold my interest. I already miss Frosted Bunches. I learned my lesson and poured a smaller bowl this time, and I'm still finding it tedious drudgery to get to the bottom. I think I like this cereal even less than Honey Roasted, which I was able to tolerate as a small side, but not an entrée. This box... I'm tempted to just give it away.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Flaky, and nutty.

Honeycomb

Name: Honeycomb
Variation: n/a
Manufacturer: Post

Review: This cereal is big. The shape reminds me of Waffle Crisp (another Post cereal). With a corn and oat base, the only advertised flavor is honey. It kind of gives you the impression of sucking on honeycombs harvested from a bee's hive. Except, they're not dripping with honey - the honey's already been extracted. All that's left is the comb, with its residual honey flavor. For me to like this cereal, it would need something extra. Maybe an add-in. But I couldn't say what. After soaking in milk for a few minutes, the combs are a bit like soggy styrofoam. I could take it or leave it.

Rating: 🥣
Leftover Milk: Still searching for that "big" honey flavor.